straight trippin

it's been 3 days since my husband took my oldest son on a *semi* cross country trip.
he is to pick up a new trailor for an 18 wheeler for work.  in missouri...

my husband is not essentially a "truck driver", however.  he is a master mechanic.  and he works on all of the super big rigs that the environmental company he works for owns.  so.....it would stand to reason that the guy workin' on the thing should also be legally allowed to drive it.  hence the class A license:)

it may also make a little bit of sense to send your mechanic to get the new {outrageously expensive...like probably more than i owe on my home} box trailor.

so.

he goes and makes it a "guy trip" with my oldest son who is 9 and a half years old.  totally a man, right?

ok.  now i have been with him for all of that 9.5 yrs (all day, every day since we homeschool) and aside from leaving him with my mom to:
a) go to the hospital to have another baby
b) take our precious 7 year old to the hospital for surgery
there hasn't been a serious length of time that he hasn't been with me.

and you know what?  I AM FINE!!

i am actually just thrilled for him!  i can absolutely guarantee that he will never forget the time when he was 9.5 yrs. old and went 2300 miles on a 5 day road trip in a tractor trailor with his father!!  what a crazy awesome experience:)

and i'm not worried.  ( do you hear that, honey?) not at all.  i know that my husband will take excellent care of him, and also...God has got this.  he doesn't really need my help watching over my boy.

there is now a different dynamic in our house, though.  not bad...just different.  it totally makes me wonder what in the world life will feel like when my babies start leaving the nest?

Now...if i could only convince my husband that i am ok:)

thus far, he has:
scheduled dinner for us every night ( he called in a pizza delivery order from Illinios on mon., and a friend gave us a gift card for dinner out tonight, my sis is having us over tomorrow)

called one of my bestest buds to inform her that he is gone, and could she have coffee with me so that i could talk to an adult?  (whoops!  i think my crazy slip is showing here...let me adjust)

called me repeatedly. (don't really mind;)

before he left, he bought these crazy "firestarter" log things for our woodstove....i have never in 2 years needed anything like that to start a blaze and heat our house.  it is a joke in our house that i am better at that than he is.  BUT.  he is concerned that i won't have heat??  Ha ha.

gotta love it.  coddling, attention, gifts, fire starting logs...he misses me:)

and i miss them.  very much.  but i know that this is so good for them both and they are doing boy things (indianapolis motor speedway, famous caverns where the notorious jesse james holed up...) and they are having a great time.

(however, we discovered that my oldest gets motion sickness.  guess a future as a long haul driver is out:)  but after some dramamine, anti nausea pressure bands on his wrists, and some ginger chewing gum, he is having a blast!

a new fav

so i was asked to compose a short devotional for a church baby shower.
i knew about it about a week in advance...BUT,
nothing was coming together.  like, nothing.
until just hours before...
finally the Lord led me to James 1:2-5 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith developes perseverence.  Perseverence must finish it's perfect work so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.  If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."

doesn't this sound like James was writing about motherhood?  :)

i am not going to expound on this, but i DO want to share with you all one more verse that i closed the devotion with...

it's my new favorite bible verse for my kids...

from Lamentations 2:19  "Pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord.  Lift up your hands to Him for the life of your children..."

this verse is perfect. prayer changes absolutely everything.

many friends were inquiring as to the Lamentations reference that i shared, so i figured i would share it with everyone:)

my new fav!

weekend reading

i love a good work of fiction.

weeks ago, i purchased this:



cause i like to skim off the top of the bestseller list.

but i didn't get around to reading it until this weekend.

it was fantastic!  and at under 300 pages, it makes for a nice weekend read:)

however, i may have had dreams on sat. night that i was being chased.  because i am a light-weight:)  i do not watch scary movies, and i can only just read scary books.

*(full disclosure: i read all 3 books in the series this weekend, finishing the last one yesterday, cause who can stand not knowing what happens??)

what are you reading?

clean house, clean start

many people have new year's resolutions.  i think that's fabulous.  just not for me.

if i make a laundry list of resolutions for the year ahead, i feel pressure.  the list always morphs into unattainable wish lists that don't factor in life.  my list doesn't account for the unknown...

last year i didn't make a formal list, but i definitely had some things i thought i wanted to focus on.  all of these goals centered around me.  i want to exercise more, cultivate better eating habits, be more organized, etc.  i thought this made sense, since it has been my experience that the only person i can change is me.

little did i know, that the year wouldn't be about me at all.

just 30 days into the new year, we were told to prepare our 6 (almost 7 yr old) for major surgery that we didn't even understand.  our standard answer for all surgery related questions seemed to be "we don't know".  our little guy ended up going through 2 huge surgeries last year, in march and again in november.

our family held together in ways that i can't describe.

roles were reversed as younger siblings took care of older ones.
i am at heart a giver, but i had to learn to be a reciever. over and over again.

when you are in crisis mode, all of the meaningless is blown away like chaff and we are focused clearly on what is most important.

see how off my focus could have been if i'd tried to keep focus on my insignifigant "goals" i thought i wanted to achieve?

this year, i am not setting any goals.

none. not at all. ok, maybe just a few {wink}

there will always be things i want to have or do, or do better.  but.  so much of how i live my life is not about me.  it may seem an oxymoron, but our lives are not about us!!

however...

i am finding great ridiculous amounts of joy in cleaning out my house.

there was i time when i would have cried and pouted about having to clean my room, but yesterday i was stupidly happy about even having the opportunity to do so:)

also, i am overjoyed to be in a new bible study on the book of James.  he is one of my all-time favorites.  he doesn't sugar coat or mince words.  he just says it.  love that.  and lovin' this study.

i am starting this year with a clean house and a cleaned up, hugely edited version of a new year's list...

and this year, i don't even know if me, myself, or i is even on the list.